Kimias'Akkasi

I’m a little behind schedule, but no matter… here we go

DAY 5

A time you thought about ending your life

Well, usually I’m all talk and no action, which sucks in some aspects and not so much in others. In this case, my lack of action rocks! So I’m still alive! Yay! Two years ago I fell in love. Not really though, when your 15 love isn’t… I don’t know, true, in some ways? Meaning love is just an illusion of your delusion about people you become attached to. So I guess I could say I was obsessed with this dude, whom I saw only once, and instantly liked him. Mostly because he listened to me and he made me feel loved and appreciated. I remember how depressed I used to be. How let down I was when the next month of meeting me he started dating someone else and started to totally ignore me. I remember posting questions questioning my purpose in life when the person I “loved” didnt “love” me back. I remember one question in particular though. I had asked if I should commit suicide or not on Yahoo! Answers, hoping to get some answers. But now that I think about it, I only wanted sympathy and affection from others. Anyways, I never got close to committing any raw actions, and I’m grateful for that. I feel like it’s important to have someone to help you through depression and your rocky teenage years. Things were good for me, but for others right now it might not be.